Girls Camp

starting with me and going right.
me. Jolyn Walker.Kendra Pocock. Emily Thomas. Stephanie Berrett.


The blood clots happened right after school- in June. Girls Camp was usually August. This year my parents had said I wouldn't be able to go. With my health condition and being far away from hospitals and society if something were to happen....
I was really sad about this. I'm not a big camper, but the chance to have sleepovers 5 days in a row, play, swim, candy candy candy, and party non-stop, with; of course, the gospel intermixed at times- what more can a girl ask for?

Well as it came closer to girls camp- my bad health was stable as "bad health" it wasn't getting any better- but it also wasn't getting any worse. Here this is my journal Entry:

Friday July 31,1998

well this whole week nothing exciting happened until today! we, my mom aubrey brock andy and connor all went to a doctors appt. Actually it was only for me but they tagged a long. I hate going to the docs. They always make me nervous! They checked my blood pressure, drew a bunch of blood and I had to pee in a cup. The doc just checked on me to see how I was doing, then my mom mentioned her going to camp. He said why isn't she going, then she should go! So I think I'm going to camp!

My parents decided I could go.

A couple of Sunday's later the YW presented me with a basket ...Here I'll let my journal take it away again...
8/4/1998
The Young Women's gave me a "we are sorry you are not going to camp basket!" it was full of goodies. But they knew that I could go to camp so they changed it to we are glad you are going! I felt kind of bad accepting it. But it felt good know that they do actually care.

Camp was fun...did all the normal stuff...play, eat candy, swim, party non-stop. This was the time I was bloated the most. I had tons and tons of water weight at this time. I was on really high doses of predinose right then. (see, they slowly tapered off with the prednisone over the years). I felt really inadequate next to my pretty fellow tenters- Jo, Kendra, Emily, Steph, Christie, Even my YCL leaders I felt jealous because they were at least normal-even if I didn't think they were the prettiest. Anyway, lots of water weight- so much that Kendra went to get a zit on my nose (gross I know) and it blew up like a balloon (kind of like a blister)...it was the weirdest thing. We all laughed our heads off and thought it was yuck. I was embarrassed, but glad that we could laugh about it.

One of the last days I got sick. I don't know what it was or what was bothering me, but I wanted a priesthood blessing. After the testimony meeting Dave Detweiler gave me a blessing. I don't remember the words or anything- I can't even put a finger on why it was so special to me, but it has left an imprint. Maybe because it was his first "sickness" blessing as a preisthood holder, and I could feel how nervous he was with his hands shaking on my head. Maybe it was because it was with all my dearest friends encircled about me in the middle of a beautiful camp. Maybe it was just because it was after a spiritual meeting and the spirit was still with us so strong. either way, I remember.

8/10/1998

Us 3rd years rode in Linda Detweiler's durango- it is brand new! Its a very nice car. The whole way home I stayed in the front because of my leg. And Jolyn, Stephanie, Emily and Kendra sat in the back. They sange "there goes my baby" by Trisha Yearwood the whole (and I mean WHOLE) way home. I like that song but I'm too shy to sing with them. Oh how I wanted to though.
It was so worth it though- going to camp.

Do any of you girls remember that??


this was a girls camp several years later....
left to right.
Courtney Maughan. Joyln Walker. Laura Haney. Natalie Thurston (our YCL). Kendra Pocock. Stephanie Berrett. Emily Thomas. Me.

The Feelings

Not all the syptoms are really clear to me. It was during 8th grade track. I was running the 400, the triple jump, and the high jump. I think I was trying to time for the 200 too. Everyday my body would ache. Just the sign of your body being worked to hard, out of shape, right? For me I felt like I had twisted an ankle or hit my elbow REALLY hard on a desk or something. I was dumbfounded, especially when the very next day it would be a whole different joint. I started complaining a lot, and I could tell it was starting to get on my friends nerves. I recall walking in the middle of Robert Start Jr. High's field with Kendra (who I adored..she was always very popular) and a few other friends limping because my right angle killed, but the day before, my right ankle had hurt. I had said something and immediatly thought I have go to stop complaining. I'm hurting all over, and it is making me slow and a terrible runner. But these guys think I'm just complaining because I can't own up to being a terrible player. We had another friend who did that same thing. She complained about this and that- making exuses as to why she didn't run as fast as everyone else or had a bad day. I heard her being mocked behind her back and I knew this was probably starting about me. That really hurt. My parents and coaches figured I was going through growth spurts and that is why my joints were having problems.

I never finished track.

On one particular night I was trying to finish my "ME" book. I named mine "MICH" me in german. A compilation of stories we write about ourselves and experiences and put it in a big binder. Last year (2008) I was home and noticed my little brother doing his.haha. oh the joys of jr. high. SO, I think I was just waiting for one of my parents to proof read a paper for this book. It was almost done. I was in so much pain. I just laid on the ground sobbing, crying so hard and begging my parents to take me to the dr. I felt that it wasn't just growing pains. At that point I think they realized that I wasnt just "complaining" either. Something was wrong.

My joints got red and swollen. I was seeing the dr a lot and my scores were outrageous. When we got my tests back from Dr. Ippilito I remember him saying that my Antigen levels were not only the highest he had see but also the specialist in Utah he had been conversing with. Trying to discover what on Earth was wrong with me.

At first they diagnosed me with Juvenille RA. That scared me. I didn't want my joints all out of sorts at such a young age.

I rode the bus to school everyday. I had the pleasure of riding with the Chandlers...Amy Jo, another person I idolized...well still do :) one time someone bumped into me on the bus and it shot pain everywhere. From my elbows and wrists up to my neck, it felt like I had just been crunched by a baseball bat. After cringing I looked over and Amy, who was sitting across from me had a "oh I'm so sorry for you"look on her face. I was so embarassed, but at the same time I felt a quiet satisfaction- because someone had witnessed me in pain when I didn't want them to see it, when it wasn't be voicing my aches.