Now What?

I walked out of my postpartum doctor's appointment the other day and had a mixture of feelings.

I had counted down the days till I was 6 weeks postpartum-only because I knew by then, I would resemble somewhat of my normal self. Inside and out.

At the same time, It was so sad to say goodbye to doctor Blea. What a doctor. The care that he has given me, kindness -not impatience with me or my health. Always pleasant....even on those hard days you could read in his face. Most the time he was more than "pleasant" happy and joking with me. He watched my meds so close, and got me into another awesome doc- my rheumatologist. All these things I haven't had in any other doc or pregnancy. It raises the bar now for any other doctor I'll have in the future.
Good doctors are out there. We sometimes just have to search for them. Pay more for them.  They are worth it.

ok. So after my bitter-sweet moment at the office, I resolved to come home and write about my last 6 weeks. It has been long enough right?!
days later, I'm here. ha!
well in my defense, I don't have too much time to blog or read blogs anymore.

So the labor and delivery went well. You can read all about it HERE. It's not only words but a picture story too. ooo.

I really don't know where to start.
I guess the hospital.
It wasn't the best stay. My nurses were onery. doing anything for me was a big chore for them and me.
I had to ask and ask. They wouldn't let Nate do anything...like get ice chips. but they wouldn't do it either.
{and lets just talk about their heparin shots. for some reason they were torturous!! you'd think they'd do better than me. They barely put the tip in, and then slowly pushed. one small 5 unit shot took like 5 minutes. no joke. Maybe it was their way of getting back at all the ice chips I requested, torture with a needle. bahahaha)

but it was quiet. and I liked that. My mom had taken the other kids. and I had meals served to me.

They started me on coumadin there, coinciding with heparin. I guess that you have a greater chance of clotting when you first go on coumadin so I had to take both for a few days. The doctor didn't leave instructions on how much of each to take- well on how to decrease the dosage, and I went home on a weekend...so I couldn't get a hold of the office to ask how much and just took what I was taking at the hospital.
First thing monday I called...they fixed my meds. I was officially off heparin!
I love that day. the end of shots.
boy those shots are hard for me. maybe I'm just a baby. I would be a horrible diabetic.

Tuesday I had to go in for a blood draw.
Tues afternoon they called and told me I was SUPER thin.(because I had such a high dose for those 3 days over the weekend) I was to pretty much not doing anything. to LAY LOW- so I didn't bump myself. not to go far from my house. just to "take it easy"
uh...so I did?
{how do you do that with 3 kids}

from then I went in everyday for a week- even over the weekend- to check my blood.
I aLMOST took a picture of my two elbow pits. the bruises were bad. quite attractive, if you like purple and blue skin.
They got my blood worked out. and slowed the blood draw down to 2-3 times a week.
the last two weeks it was just once a week. nice.

My coumadin was all over the place- every time I had a blood draw they called and moved it to 5mg, or 2.5, or every other day 5, and 2.5. It was annoying. I regret not asking what my level was and what they want it to be at, so that I understood what and why they were changing it.
Last week, (week 6 going on 7) I just did 2.5 every other day and now I'm done.
I'm back to my normal meds.
plaquneil and baby aspirin. oh and a prenatal.

My baby, William, is the joy in my life. a cute, chubby, gurgly baby. But he hasn't always been like that.
He was quite a sad guy until 2 weeks ago, then started cheering.
Life was hard. and Overwhelming.
I didn't feel sad about life, I felt overcome by the world.
the thought of running out to get milk and bread. Or cleaning my bathrooms. Or folding laundry was just SO hard. how could I ever do that!?
Granted- it was tricky with this little newborn and the two crazy others. but not that hard.
I knew in my head it is just my hormones. but it doesn't change the way I feel.
It's amazing isn't it? It give you a small insight to what those who constantly deal with depression and problems have to go through. As much as your brain tells you otherwise, it also pulses out the wrong prescription of hormones to make you feel otherwise.

I don't know, maybe they don't feel anything like that.
and as hard as it was for me to comprehend getting ready and going to the doctors and the store (cause I like went to the doctor everyday!) I pushed through and did it. I learned you just plain have to do it. and sure enough I survived and felt so much better for doing it. I would feel worse if i didn't get my jobs done for the day.

Those 6 weeks are just something you have push (and push and push and push) through.

I still don't feel 100% hormone normal. I get overwhelmed and stressed easy. a little emotional. but I'm SO much better and feel So much happier.

LUPUS: should we discuss what happens next?

Well at 6 weeks. I'm watched closely.
I had an appointment with my Rhem. and blood drawn at about 6 weeks.
All these out of wack hormones is what sends the lupus into a flare.

Women are typically diagnosed at puberty and pregnancy. Our hormones.

I have been feeling great (as far as lupus). no sign of acting up.
I still haven't heard from the doctor about my blood draw....so no news is good news. I'm assuming.

ok time for another feeding. babies eat a lot :)

I wonder what I'll have to blog about next.
It better not be a flare.
I'll have to get creative.

anything you want to know about Lupus or Me or Lupus and Me?
feel free to give me ideas.