This is a compilation of some of my memories and experiences that happened during my teenage years. Start at the begginning of this blog to hear the beginning of my story.

The most recent posts will now be my experiences with Lupus as an adult and mother.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Iron {WO}man


Did you know that if you take a precious metal, like your gold ring sitting there on your finger, drag it on your skin....it was done on my face for example. It may or may not leave a black streak? WHAT? If it leaves a black streak that means your anemic. {some kind of chemical reaction}
My sister did this to us over the Christmas break...both my sister and my face had big black streaks, hers darker than mine. My moms was fairly light but apparent. None of the boys had any?
and I thought it might be a good introduction to my anemia problems. haha maybe is wasn't.

Because of my chemo I threw up a lot.
Because I threw up a lot I developed stomach problems.
Because of my stomach problems I had nutrient absorption problems.
Because of All of the above I had a extreme case anemia.

The hematologist prescribed iron 2-3x a day...so I would take the round little green pills every day. I'll admit that once in a while I missed a dose. but I was pretty faithful.
To go along with Rx I had other requirements- to eat certain foods when I take the iron- or not to eat certain foods. Like not to drink milk, but vitamin C does help absorption. And of course- to eat iron rich foods....anyway...

Taking iron is really annoying. at first you are fine. hardly any side effects.

Then comes the constipation. gross right?? but whats worse is taking the "perdiem" I took. Little tiny beads that have a little minty taste as they all fall to the back of my throat followed by gulps and gulps of liquid- to help everything flow through nice and easy.

Then my stomach starts to get really bad cramps. blah.

But I was faithful taking Christmas-tree green pills, BECAUSE I did want to get better. Completely and fully better. At this point I was done with Chemo, so that meant I was REALLY close to be healthy and normal. My spirits were up just for that reason! It was heaven, and 2001.

After 6 weeks of pills and beads my scores were not improving in the least
(surprise surprise, this always seems to be my story right?!)
But this is the part that I don't like... The doctor accused me and was very persistent that I was not taking my iron. He fought with my mom about this. 'If I was taking my iron then there should be improvement!' yadda yadda. No matter how much the doctor didn't want to believe me or my mom- or my mom tried to impress upon him that I was, infact, taking my stinky iron pills...sitting there wasn't going to improve me iron.

So my mom asked for an alternative procedure. and we'd go with that.

The next alternative (or only, I don't know what would have come next if this didn't work...)
Was for an iron transfusion. Simple outpatient procedure. Check in, get an IV - pump you full of liquid black iron and go.

The procedure is simple, but the body can have a very negative reaction to being intoxicated, overloaded with iron like that. For instance, you can have an allergic reaction- which they would fix with benadryll, or nausea- fix with zophran or something. The big scary things are going into shock, cardiac and pulmonary problems. I really can't remember the reactions- just that they were freaky and serious. They were problems that are hard to fix, that you would die.

I don't know how serious,serious the complications really are- we'd have to ask a doctor again, but to me, then, they were so serious and scary. and so was my mom.
Maybe it scared me because I was young and the reality of I had recently been through was still very fresh. Or maybe it was the doc- trying to scare me out of doing it, and just to take my meds, or maybe the the fear of my mom rubbed off me. none the less I was scared.
Besides, sure I was tired, but I was feeling good. done with Chemo. And in my mind- I was tired because I was in zero hour and partying with friends. Life was just exhausting as is.

Well the day came, I walked into the first set of automatic doors, onto the squishy floor and the wind blew through my hair. Walked through the second set of black automatic doors.

I remember I sat on the left end of the semi-circle filled with ladies and gents all hooked up to the IV too. I had to get my iron transfusion in the oncology ward. These people were not lucky like me- we were all there for an outpatient procedure but they had much worse ahead of them. The felt for these people. I really felt for them, I had been there, where they had been. At the same time they had no idea that I knew what they were going through. They probably looked at me and said- oh this young teenager has no idea. No idea about me, what I'm going through, what this feels like.
Some of them were bald, other sleeping, others listening to music or reading books. and I just wanted to cry. My eyes welded up and and I sat there wishing things like cancer were never invented. That our bodies were perfect just like Adam and Eve's. But where would be our joy, if we didn't pass through sorrow?

I don't remember what all happened- I know they hooked up a small IV bag of Iron, and I think some other type of medicine (I really want to say benadryll, but I'm not sure) I sat there for an hour or so. The sweetest lady-nurse came and sat and talked with me. I found out she was Chase's mom (a boy in my class). She talked and giggled and had a sparkle in her eye the size of the north star. Someone you are instantly drawn too. I still love her for it.

They watched me close to make sure I wasn't goin to go dyin on them.
They checked me out and told my mom to watch me carefully for the rest of the day.

Then the unexpected happened.
{and remember feeling is still clear as day to me}

I felt... I felt just plain felt.
The sun was brighter, the air smelled cleaner, my feet were 10x lighter. It was easier to smile and to lift my arms. I had energy and life infused into my veins again. Just walking out of those double automatic doors I felt like every step had a skip.
It was like everything had been drained out of me through chemo- and now was put back in.
It was the weirdest feeling- to feel again.{how do you even describe this?}
I had no idea how dull and lifeless I had been before. How lazy and sad I was. I thought, after chemo, I was finally normal and healthy. who knew! who knew that anemia could make THIS big of a difference.

It was wonderful.

Also, another silly memory. I had a big crush on a boy...and I ran into his dad walking out of the hospital. I thought his dad was rather handsome, too. and really nice to me. we talked about my procedure and told him to tell __ hi :)

I came back a few weeks later and they checked my ferritin levels and hemoglobin and sure enough the iron transfusion gave by blood just the boost it needed. my ferritin (iron stores) were normal and hemoglobin great.

Unlike the lupus staying in remission, I still struggle with anemia problems. but its been most likely because I've had 2 babies and its been nine years. (gee I'm getting old!) But its a small problem, compared to the lupus, that I'd rather deal with....


3 comments:

  1. Hey Desi! I'm glad to read a story again... it reminded me of the iron I had to take... sick. It was powder that I had to mix in orange juice and it made it green. That was so disgusting and I was not like you... I never took it. I hated medicine and taking it for some reason.

    I wonder who the boy was... share?!?

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  2. Des, I love reading your story. It is so cool that you have decided to share it. Thanks for letting me read it and allowing me to get to know the Desi from years ago.

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  3. I can't even imagine what you have been through. Thanks for sharing your story.
    Hannah

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